I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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