I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
