I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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