is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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