the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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