operation harelip BJ is a go
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
