Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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