my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Let's paint friendship bongs
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
All the doctor said was why
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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