Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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