You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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