i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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