Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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