so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
