You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
