Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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