Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
