first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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