no, he came in my armpit
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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