you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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