The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
