I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
