I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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