True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
