Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
