im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
