Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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