Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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