ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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