Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize