it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
she pinky promised me she was 18
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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