I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
