I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
babies were throwing up all over the place
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
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After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize