Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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