it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
