I cockslap morals
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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