I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
