I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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