It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize