I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He's a Shit stain on my heart
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize