We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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