My brain says no but my pants say off.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize