i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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