she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
tell me about the eggs
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
