So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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