none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
you would pick up someone in the library
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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