so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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