your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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