I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
