Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
handjob tips. give me some.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
