I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
