the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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