Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize