i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
