omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
