The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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