I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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