I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I won't apologize to a one balled man
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Sex in the backyard? Check.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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