So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
