spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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