We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
