shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
